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Monday 21 October 2019

Totally nonsensical knitting pattern found on the internet

During a recent pinterest/ravelry-browsing-binge, hunting for new patterns for the winter, I realized that a lot of the projects that people find "super cute" or "so practical" are - from a knitters point of view - just plain nonsense. I'm always wondering if those posts are made by people that don't actually knit or if they actually think that stuff makes sense?

I don't want to be demeaning, everybody can knit whatevery they want. Also, tastes differ obviously. And sometime the pure process of knitting can already be therapeutic so I understand if you do not care so much about the finished product. But why not invest your time in something more useful? 

Some examples:

1) The knitted washcloth. Have you looked at the price of a ball of yarn recently?! How can it make any sense to spend 5 € on yarn, spend the time knitting it and then probably only use it a few times until you realize that you cannot put it in the washing machine and you chuck it out because it smells disgusting if an actual washcloth only costs 20 cents? I mean, I'm all in for knitting practical things but in that case you really have to re-evaluate the usefulness of that project.

2) The knitted curtains. This seems to be especially popular on pinterest at the moment but again, this seems rather complicated to me. It might be fun knitting a lace curtain (even though of course it is a very expensive curtain) but do you never want to wash it?

3) The lace stockings. Yes, I do knit socks and I love that they keep my feet warm on cold  winter days (and nights) but stockings are a completely different level. I don't know who still wears stockings in the first place but may I remind you that those things have the tendency to slide down annoyingly quickly, especially if they're made from a non-stretch yarn (which lace usually is)? And I suppose they have not really thought about the fact that you will probably have worn them out  after only a few times because lace yarn is usually too delicate? I have bad experiences even with normal, non-sock yarn that I used once to try it out and I had holes in my socks after wearing them only once.

3.a) This is also true for socks made from non-sock yarn that have holes in them after wearing them 3 times (there was a reason why sock yarn was invented).

3.b) And also a minor pet-peeve of mine: socks knitted with different colour strands - how can anyone knit the pattern stretchy enough to fit over your feet?? Or am I just too dumb? In my experience, once you include colourwork the socks loose their stretch and I cannot pull them over my foot anymore. Not comfy!

4) Amigurumi: Sorry, I do have to admit that they're cute but I don't really get the point. I wouldn't know what to do with all those teeny-tiny pandas, unicorns, and dragons. Knitting a scarf would probably be more productive.

5) Blankets: Ok, I admit that I have knitted a baby blanket in the past. And I admit that there are some really, really beautiful patterns out there (Purl Soho, I'm looking at you!) that I would love to knit. But seriously, yarn is just way too expensive to waste it on a huge blanket! Scrap blankets and granny squares I totally sign up for, anything that uses leftovers and doesn't require actually buying yarn for a blanket. Also, the time spent on knitting 324957038 km of garter stitch I rather invest in a more challenging pattern.

That leads me to the conclusion that some people either have no sense  of practicality or are just extremely bored so that knitting jumpers, cardigans, hats, mittens, socks, blankets, or other remotely useful projects are not enough anymore. Otherwise, enlighten me! Why do people do this?

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